I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
