she woke up with a sticky ear
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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