Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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