So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
