After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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