Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
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I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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