I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
