NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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