i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
