ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
