Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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