goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
