I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
