I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
