dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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