It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
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He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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