we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
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Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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