well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Come share oat with me in your robe
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