in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How does it feel to date your dad?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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