we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize