He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
