Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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