she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize