She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
