you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
