i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize