No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
