'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
