You work out of a Hotel?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
