Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
