Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
