he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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