i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
