i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
