we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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