i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
