my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
