I am in a vortex of obligation.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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