If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
