It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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