Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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