Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
