After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
