i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
