Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize