there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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