just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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