everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
