that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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