literally had 100 drinks last night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize