my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
