ya dads aren't the best wingmen
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
