I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
