Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
