Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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