in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
