Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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