this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
