So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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