Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
