look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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