Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
