so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
