she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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