Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
