you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
