I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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