he shaved USA in his pubs
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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